I'd rather go blind.

What smoking, god-fearing drummer out-funkies the Funky Drummer?
Who saw Bob just before he hit the road, or the road hit him?
What jazz scribbler wants it all live, all the time?
Which reconstituted Boston post-punker used the Huffington Post to announce a new album?
What Queer Noises queen threw a snippy over the rise of macho jazz?
What link compiler with excellent initials just wasted my weekend?
Who blogs N.C. with the big brass? [For Chilly, mebbe.]
Which free pianist has no piano at home, and has (again) recorded his last album?
What Naked City dweller has some knickers in a twist (again)? [See comments esp.]
Which label that rhymes with boney maroney sucks ass?
Which old professor likes to take it in the ear, just like they used to do, way back when?
Who slouches, hoping it's taken as flattery? [For Chilly.]
What guerrilla author/webraker pissed off King Kong, to the point where he might be stomped out of virtual existence?
Which author with the vaguely racist name is in fact a racist?
Who is out of ideas?
Zapp? Zapp!

Via all the usual suspects.